daemon_angelus: (ffxv | noctis [ somnus ])
[personal profile] daemon_angelus
UGH THIS WAS WRITTEN COS KIMI NO NA WA GAVE ME A MOUTAINLOAD OF F E E LS but I couldn't really realise the aesthetic and themes I was going for - still posting cos THATS HOW I ROLL AND I REALLY LIKE THE FIRST PART (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧ it's really rpugh, more so than my usual stuff cos there are literal sections left hanging but nonetheless (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧


Sol tastes the worry, desperation, in the quiver of Ky's lips, the frown crumpling against his own skin, and the unusually shallow shortness of Ky's breaths - the way Ky clings to him - blunt nails digging into his forearm, body pressed tight against his own - like he's seeking out, pleading almost - an anxious sigh in their mingling breaths - as if he's afraid of something - 
 
- placates the other man - before Sol pushes and nudges him to lie flat on the bed again, waiting for the head of blond to come to a rest on the pillow - raises two fingers to push golden strands out of half-closed cerulean eyes - 
 
"Something wrong?" He murmurs against where the knot between Ky's eyebrows refuses to loosen - 
 
Sol has an inkling - a fragmented recollection from the morning - when he'd been half-awake and staring at a bleary Ky, was mostly aware only of gentle strokes against his cheek until Ky had sighed and - 
 
You haven't aged a day since we first met during the war - it must be coming up to twenty years now -
 
- threads his fingers through Ky's as Ky shifts to gently place his chin atop Sol's head of unruly mahogany hair - he can't see Ky like this - only hears the whispered -
 
"Please don't forget me - "
 
- and it's almost like Ky is sixteen again, faced with the startling and daunting realisation that he had wants and wishes just like any other person - for another person (duty and obligation came first for Ky, any sort of personal desire always taking the backseat even though he'd mellowed somewhat, became more flexible over the years) - still can't find it in himself to tell Sol these sort of things straight to his face -
 
- Sol sighs lightly (regrets it a little when he feels Ky tense up beneath him) -
 
"Dumbass," Sol scolds without any heat behind the insult at all, "You're not getting rid of me that easily - " not after Ky'd spent something like a decade chasing after him, waiting for Sol to finally take the hand that'd always been stretched out to for him -
 
"No matter where you go, I'll find you - bounty hunter and all that, remember?" Cracks a fanged toothy grin as he lifts his head back into Ky's view again - smooths the pad of his thumb against the wetness at the corner of Ky's eyes - he hadn't exactly said yes but he knows Ky understands anyway - like he always does -
 
No matter how long the path stretches out for me - 

I'll always find my way back to your side
 
---
 
Ky wakes - inhales a deep breath, then another, chest rising a little too quickly, too tightly - and there's an uncomfortable lump in his throat - 
 
A dream?
 
- doesn't recall what, or whom, it was about - is just left with an unabating feeling - a hollow echoing of something missing (like a piece of his soul) - notices his outstretched fingers - reaching out for - nothing - (maybe, something beyond the white walls of his rented apartment in Tokyo - )
 
- exhales, doesn't even know what to make of the dampness on his cheeks - fingers curling inwards before coming to a rest at the bridge of his nose -
 
What a way to start the workday.
 
---
 
Sol wakes - with a start - head jerking off the pillow he'd had his face planted in - fuck - the sudden motion making his brain hurt, the sunlight streaming through thin curtains compounding the stabs of pain -
 
- runs his hand through dark unkempt hair - feels like he should be used to a gentler, more affectionate touch - impossible, his rational side supplies, he hadn't been with anyone for years, much less a serious (loving) relationship -
 
- yawns one more time before he drags himself out of bed to get ready for his afternoon work shift.
 
---
 
He couldn't have known - that the blond stranger who'd left the konbini one block down just a few minutes before him (Sol usually stopped by to grab something quick to eat - the onigiri on promotion, the oden for a late night supper) -
 
Had been the one he's been looking for his whole life (and then some - the one he'd promised to meet at the end of galaxies, even if all that was left was stardust, ashes and ruin, even if time stopped flowing -
 
The only one he ever bothered loving; the only one who ever bothered loving him back, across timelines, across histories and universes)
 
Fate, however, was always a fickle mistress (and karma was a bitch) -
 
---
 
Blood - 
 
Warm, grotesquely so, the dense smell of iron stinging his already Gear-enhanced senses - eyes long shifted to an unnatural gold, canines-turned-to-fangs bared in a ferocious snarl - 
 
He'd been too late (always seemed to be, always had been, whenever Ky was concerned) - too late fighting through the scores of vicious Gears, too late on trying to get his magical comms back up, too late on reaching Ky's side -
 
Thinks the last thing Ky had lectured him on was about not taking rash reckless individualistic actions and he can't even bring himself to sneer at the irony -
 
He'd felt Ky's pulse stop (stupid stupid predatory instincts) way before he ever came close to the body -
 
(But then, the universe decides to give him the biggest second chance anyone could ever goddamn ask for and he wouldn't even remember - when I-no rewinds the timeline of their world back to before the Battle of Rome - back to before Ky ever died - )
 
In their story and history books, the Battle of Rome had been won - 
 
And the hope of the world hadn't crumbled that day.
 
---
 
It's late one Sunday night - Ky sitting in the last train back home with earphones plugged in, a book in hand and baby pink reading glasses on (they'd been on discount, he had reasoned) -
 
yawn - hidden behind delicate fingers - as the train doors open to a station still far, far away from his destination -
 
Someone comes to sit beside him as the people file in - doesn't glance up but sees dark jeans and feels the ruffle of a jacket next to him as the stranger settles down - 
 
 
 
---

What are you doing tonight?

Not much.

What about dinner? Cup noodles again?

I guess.

They're incredibly unhealthy.

They taste good.
 
---
 
Sol'd been wondering if he'd chosen the wrong answer to Ky's question - there hadn't been any further messages after that; he'd always had trouble with these sort of things (communication in general) - furrows his brows as he blows once on piping hot noodles before slurping them up a little louder than was strictly necessary -
 
Ding dong -
 
- sighs irritably, still chewing as he got up from the couch and makes his way to the door -
 
Ding dong -
 
"Yeah, yeah, coming - " gets ready to shove in another mouthful of noodles -
 
- uses his foot to push the door open wider once he'd managed to turn the handle -
 
- to Ky, wrapped up in a black trench cost, navy skinny jeans and leather boots, clutching heavy grocery bags in each hand. Ky immediately trains his gaze to the still steaming cup of noodles and deadpans - "I knew it."
 
Sol's mind is still occupied trying to catch up with why is Ky here?? so the noodles are left dangling from his mouth, half held up by his chopsticks - 
 
Thankfully, Ky brushes past him, and sets the groceries on the dining table, slips out of and neatly folds his coat over the only other dining chair - before he starts opening cupboards and extracting pots and pans from places Sol didn't even know contained pots and pans.
 
"Is that even enough for you?" Ky asks as he leans into Sol's refrigerator -
 
Slurp. "I - uh, usually grab a burger nearby after - "
 
Ky slides an unamused expression to him as he takes a step towards the stove - "Honestly."
 
Sol lets out a small sly smirk, starting to relax a little into their usual banter, "Cross my heart."
 
Slice - "I'm surprised you have one to cross - "
 
"Oi - "
 
And all it takes to clam him up is a radiant smile and a mischievous twinkle in cerulean eyes - "Just kidding."
 
 
-
 
Ky touches his thumb to Sol's lower lip, soft pad smoothening lightly against it, other fingers curled and tucked under Sol's chin - 
 
"Something wrong?" Ky breathes softly, a gentle patience in his syllables - 
 
"I - feel like... we've met before, not here - some other time almost -" sometimes, I feel like you've died in my arms before - 
 
Cerulean eyes widen considerably, a shine of familiarity in them, even as Ky sucks in a shuddering breath and leans his head down to rest under Sol's chin - thinks he hears Ky whisper -
 
"You think so too?"
 
 
 
---
 
He's something like a hundred and ninety years young the day he's first introduced to the newest Commander of the Sacred Order of Holy Knights (starts to wonder how that old man Kliff had convinced him to join the cause - )
 
 
 
 
 

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